Creating safety for kids around divorce

How do we create safety for kids around DIVORCE?

Before a divorce, we do it with age-appropriate boundaries, We do it with predictable routines and structure.  We do it by getting enough support for ourselves. 

Critically, we do it when we commit NEVER TO BECOME THE SOURCE OF OUR CHILD'S FEAR with our words or behaviors.

What about divorce?

Routines and structure change.  A child may live in two houses.  A child may not see one parent as often. Your ex does and says things you can’t control.  You may be broiling with anger.

First, if you are yelling or losing your temper frequently, you need more support.  A parent who is out of control emotionally becomes a source of fear for our child—and the child loses their safety with us.

Of course it is hard to co-parent with your ex.  Of course you are frustrated, or furious, or whatever. 

Your ex may do XYZ, and your ex may say XYZ.  Imagine how terrifying that must feel for your child?   

We want to create a force-field of protection around your child INSIDE THEIR RELATIONSHIP with you, where they know that you are not going to involve them in the negativity of the divorce.

You commit never to become the source of their fear. 

We want your relationship with your child to be a safe harbor.  We want your relationship to be a place where your child will be accepted by, and loved by, you even when they are sad, or angry, or frustrated.   

I know it’s not easy. Coparenting through divorce may be the hardest thing you’ve ever tried to do.

Is this you?  Let’s talk.  I help support parents who are struggling with coparenting and the aftermath of divorce.



You can’t control what your ex does.  But you can be a safe harbor for your child.