ADHD in Highly Sensitive Children

Support Your Emotionally Intense, Spirited Child

Without Power Struggles, Guilt, or Burnout

Your child is always on.

Big emotions. Constant motion. A thousand ideas at once—and an equal number of meltdowns, distractions, and impulsive moments.


One moment they’re tender-hearted and deeply thoughtful. The next they’re yelling, refusing, or falling apart over the wrong-colored plate.


You’re not imagining it. Parenting a highly sensitive child with ADHD is a very real and very specific challenge.


And there’s a way to support your child that doesn’t rely on threats, rewards, or resentment.

Understanding the Sensitive Child with ADHD


You may have heard this child called “spirited,” “intense,” or “difficult.”

But under the surface, these children are:


  • Emotionally responsive to everything—praise, tone, disappointment.
  • Easily overstimulated by noise, pressure, chaos, or even too much fun.
  • Prone to huge emotional swings—quick to joy, just as quick to rage or collapse.
  • Incredibly empathetic but easily overwhelmed by others’ feelings.
  • Energetic and imaginative, but struggle with focus, regulation, and transitions


This combo of sensitivity + ADHD is often misunderstood.


People may say your child is manipulative, lazy, or defiant—when in reality, they are

flooded, dysregulated, and needing help they don’t know how to ask for.

How ADHD Shows Up in Highly Sensitive Children by Age


Toddlers & Preschoolers


Constant movement, trouble with transitions, aggressive or intense outbursts

Meltdowns when things feel out of control or overstimulating

Struggles with sensory overload and hyperactivity, especially in groups



Pain points:

  • Your child resists almost every limit—even loving ones
  • You feel judged in public or at preschool pickup
  • You’re burned out from constant redirection and emotional fallout



School-Age Kids (6–10)


Inattentive or impulsive in class but deeply discouraged by failure

Overwhelmed by multi-step directions or too many expectations at once

Deeply hurt by discipline or feedback but struggle to apply it


Pain points:

  • Homework battles, forgetfulness, and daily chaos
  • Intense frustration or anger when things feel “too hard”
  • Emotional storms that feel bigger than the problem at hand
  • Teachers and relatives don’t see the sensitive side—just the “disruptive” one

 


Tweens (11–13)


Increasing social awareness paired with deep sensitivity to rejection

Anxiety about falling behind or being “too much”

Defiance or withdrawal when pressured to “just try harder”


Pain points:

  • Constant tension between independence and emotional neediness
  • Emotional outbursts followed by shame or self-criticism
  • Losing things, missing deadlines, and impulsivity that causes social strain
  • Parent-child relationship starts to feel combative or distant

 


Teens (14–18)


Difficulty with motivation, follow-through, or emotional regulation

Impulsivity, risk-taking, or shutdown behavior—followed by guilt

A tender heart that’s easily overwhelmed by the demands of school, friendships, or life


Pain points:

  • Battles over homework, chores, tech use, or boundaries
  • Power struggles that leave everyone drained
  • The teen feels “broken,” the parent feels helpless


Why Sensitivity and ADHD Create a Unique Parenting

Challenge


Highly sensitive kids with ADHD aren’t just more active or distracted—they’re more emotionally intense and more prone to overwhelm.

They:


  • Feel shame deeply when they mess up
  • Want to do well, but are constantly battling dysregulation
  • Crave connection but melt down when they’re overstimulated
  • React strongly to perceived rejection or failure
  • Need both structure and softness—but reject both when dysregulated
  • You may find yourself switching constantly between being firm, being gentle, being frustrated, and being exhausted.

How This Affects the Whole Family


On the Child:

  • Struggles with self-esteem and identity
  • Internalizes “I’m bad” or “I’m too much” messages
  • Feels misunderstood and frequently dysregulated
  • Shame or anxiety from their own behavior


On the Parents:

  • Constant confusion: “Is this can’t or won’t?”
  • Guilt over yelling, giving in, or losing your cool
  • Fear about your child’s future
  • Overwhelm from juggling emotional support and daily tasks


On the Family:

  • High conflict between siblings
  • Disagreements between parents on discipline and expectations
  • Lack of calm, predictability, or shared joy
  • Everyone walking on eggshells or in survival mode

Extra section

Meet the Rivera family. Their 8-year-old son, Leo, was bright, loving, and full of curiosity—but every day felt like a battle. He exploded over homework, interrupted constantly, and collapsed into sobs when corrected. His parents were on edge, exhausted, and not sure what else to try.

Through coaching, they learned to:


  • Understand the nervous system patterns behind Leo’s behavior
  • Set clear, respectful boundaries without escalating power struggles
  • Co-regulate during emotional storms instead of reacting
  • Support Leo’s executive functioning in a realistic, compassionate way
  • Build Leo’s internal motivation and resilience—not just compliance


A Realistic, Hopeful Shift:

Meet the Martins


Meet the Rivera family. Their 8-year-old son, Leo, was bright, loving, and full of curiosity—but every day felt like a battle. He exploded over homework, interrupted constantly, and collapsed into sobs when corrected. His parents were on edge, exhausted, and not sure what else to try.


Through coaching, they learned to:

  • Understand the nervous system patterns behind Leo’s behavior
  • Set clear, respectful boundaries without escalating power struggles
  • Co-regulate during emotional storms instead of reacting
  • Support Leo’s executive functioning in a realistic, compassionate way
  • Build Leo’s internal motivation and resilience—not just compliance


Twelve weeks later, Leo was still intense—but he was also calmer, more confident, and more cooperative. His parents felt connected to him again, not just responsible for managing him.


His mom shared:

“We used to brace ourselves every day. Now we feel like a team again—and Leo is learning to trust himself, not just us.”


What You’ll Gain Through Parent Coaching


When we work together, you’ll learn to:


  • Understand your child’s unique wiring (sensitivity + ADHD)
  • Stop reacting from fear or frustration—and start leading with calm clarity
  • Support emotional regulation in ways your child can actually use
  • Set boundaries without power struggles
  • Encourage responsibility without shame
  • Reconnect with the joy and love you know is underneath it all


You don’t need to be stricter.

You don’t need to try harder.

You need the tools to meet your child where they are—and lead them forward with confidence.

Schedule Your Free Call

If you're worn out by meltdowns, shutdowns, and everyday chaos…

If you worry your child is falling behind emotionally, socially, or academically…

If you're ready to reconnect with your child and feel more peace at home…


💬 Schedule a free 30-minute call with me.
Let’s talk about your child, your family, and the path toward calm, cooperation, and confidence.


You don’t have to figure this out alone. Let’s build a roadmap that works for your sensitive, spirited child.

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