The most powerful peaceful parenting tool I know

Ceara Deno, MD • January 28, 2021
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The most powerful peaceful parenting tool I know

If you are only going to make ONE change in your parenting, this is it. 


The biggest bang for your peaceful parenting buck, so-to-speak. 


It’s Active Compassionate Listening, and it’s just as beautiful and organic and wholesome as it sounds.  


******


You are already a really great listener, and that’s terrific. You’re most of the way there already. 


Still. This subtle shift in how I listen has made the biggest difference in my parenting and relationships.


These are the 4 steps to Active Compassionate Listening:


ACTIVE COMPASSIONATE LISTENING


1.) Refrain from interrupting


2.) Refrain from judging


3.) Refrain from comparing


4.) Listen to understand, not to solve or fix the problem


*******


That’s it. The next time your child doesn’t like something, you simply listen to understand.


You don’t need to fix the problem, minimize it, or help them find perspective.  All you do is listen to understand, and refrain from judging/comparing/interrupting. 


The next time your coworker, or partner, or boss, or neighbor is upset, all you need to do is listen to understand.


You don’t need to fix it, minimize it, or help them find perspective. All you do is listen to understand, and refrain from judging/comparing/interrupting.  


*******


Why is this SO POWERFUL?


People crave to feel truly seen and understood. They crave to know their feelings matter. When you listen to understand, you communicate that the person and their feelings matter to you.  You create a space for a person's feelings to be acceptable, without judgement. 


Many things in life are not fixable problems. Even if they were, your job is not to fix other people’s problems—but you can help them feel truly seen, understood, and allow space for their feelings to be acceptable. 


This will create more peace in your home than any other thing you could possibly do as a parent.   




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