No shame, blame, or judgment; my coaching process

Ceara Deno, MD • January 29, 2021
Schedule A Free Call

No shame, blame, or judgment; my coaching process

“I want to stop yelling.”


“I want to stop dreading family time, and actually enjoy it.” 


“I never know when to say no and when to let things go.” 


“My spouse and I aren't on the same page.”


“I have absolutely no time for myself, because I’m always ‘on’ as a parent.”


*************


How do I solve problems like these with my coaching process?   


First, before we start any coaching, I create a safe space where the parent doesn't experience any shame, blame, or judgment for their parenting.  


Shame, blame and judgment only inhibit learning and growth, so they have no place in coaching.  Everyone is doing the best they can.  It is extremely brave to share vulnerably, and a parent willing to do this should be applauded, not judged.


**************


After we create a safe place for honest sharing, we work through the following 4 steps:


1.) FIRST: You identify your goals according to your values. This is 100% about you and what you desire for your family. This is about creating the family that you most desire, based on whatever is most important to you.  


There is no ‘correct answer,’ and it doesn’t matter what I might choose for your family. This is 100% about what works for you and your child. I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I am going to support you in making the decisions that feel best for you. 


2.) SECOND: You look at your childhood, and whether this is affecting your parenting today.  Many of us inherited parenting patterns from our parents that may or may not be serving us.  In fact, many of the times we are most triggered by our child is a direct result of how we were parented. By examining this legacy, we can get rid of any baggage that is creating disconnection and making our parenting harder than it has to be.


3.) THIRD: You learn peaceful tools you can use in any parenting situation.  

These are tools of empathy and communication that work at any age, including in your adult relationships, to increase understanding, peace and cooperation. You will learn how to handle situations where your child (or yourself) are having a tantrum, or strong feelings, and use those situations to increase your connection. 


4.) FOUR: You learn how to be the emotional center of your family. This includes learning about anger (yours and your child’s); how to forgive yourself or your child; how to set boundaries peacefully; and how to bringing play into your parenting to increase cooperation and fun. 


At all points in the coaching, you will feel more confident, more peaceful, and more empowered, no matter what situations you face. 


This is the coaching process, and it all starts with creating a safe space without shame, blame or judgment, and then flows from there. 


By Ceara Deno, MD September 8, 2025
Learn how to support your anxious or sensitive child without pushing, rescuing, or power struggles. Discover practical tips to help them build confidence and face challenges with courage.
Silhouetted group of people with arms raised at sunset.
By Ceara Deno, MD August 18, 2025
Parenting a defiant child, explosive tween, or argumentative teen? Discover 6 powerful success stories of families who went from daily battles to harmony with parent coaching.
By Ceara Deno, MD August 12, 2025
Get answers to the most common questions about my upcoming group coaching program for parents of highly sensitive kids. Learn how it works, who it's for, and how it can transform your home life.
By Ceara Deno, MD August 5, 2025
Struggling with your child’s big emotions and constant meltdowns? Join our fall group coaching program for parents of sensitive or strong-willed kids ages 5–12. Learn peaceful parenting strategies that really work.
By Ceara Deno, MD July 15, 2025
Science shows that helping kids feel in charge of their own lives is a critical way parents help kids thrive, and this starts with parents managing their own stress and anxiety.
Let me share a little secret: sensitive kids lash out more.They say mean things, or shove their si.
By Ceara Deno, MD June 30, 2025
Why do sensitive kids lash out? As a parent, this can feel devastating and hopeless. But it’s important to understand, sensitive kids are not trying to be mean, they’re doing the best they can. Understanding why kids are mean is the first step to preventing this behavior.
By Ceara Deno, MD June 11, 2025
I f you are the parent of a highly sensitive or strong-willed kid, stuck in constant power struggles, meltdowns, or angry outbursts, I’d like to share something with you. This is my method how I transform families. I’d like to share exactly how I take families from constant power struggles and meltdowns, to peace, harmony and connection . In only 12 weeks. Working one-on-one with parents. Via weekly Zoom calls. Here is What I Do: Step #1 : We transform your listening, so your child learns how to listen more respectfully to you, too. Step #2 : We strengthen self-empathy & self-compassion, so you feel connected, confident, and joyful as a parent. Step #3 : We stop patterns leading to big explosions and dysregulation. This means your child has fewer meltdowns, and you can actually enjoy your child, and stop walking on eggshells. Step #4 : We teach you how to set boundaries peacefully, so your child behaves better, listens more, and argues less. Step #5 : We stop sibling fighting, so your children get along better, and you don’t need to constantly referee fights. Step #6 : We focus on communicating differently, so your kid is more open to feedback and correction, and less likely to shut down, lash out, or become defensive. Step #7 : We learn how sensory challenges and your child’s high sensitivity might be creating challenging behaviors--so we can make life easier for you both. Step #8 : We get you and your partner on the same page, so you can stop disagreeing about parenting and start supporting one another. Step #9 : We celebrate your child’s unique personality, so you can enjoy your child, and stop feeling stressed, anxious or fearful about their future. Step #10 : We focus on your needs as a parent, so you feel less stressed, more calm, and joyful. So then what? What happens next? How will you feel? First, you will feel calmer. More confident. You’ll enjoy your child more. You’ll see your child in a more positive, hopeful way. You’ll connect better. Your child will listen more. Behave better. Have fewer meltdowns or big emotional explosions. You’ll notice your child using words to express their emotions and needs in healthier ways. You and your child will both feel less reactive, less bothered by little issues, and more able to find joy and connection. If you have a partner, the two of you will feel more like a supportive parenting team, and less likely to feel criticized, blamed, or judged for your parenting. You’ll have a shared vision and goal in parenting, and understand how to support each other better. You’ll feel more confident setting peaceful limits, and your children will be better able to hear you say no and tolerate the feelings that come with that. You will be able to go places that you might not have taken your child in the past, for fear of what might happen. If you have multiple children, they will fight less, get along better, and learn how to handle conflict between themselves more. If you are highly sensitive, you will better understand how to support your own needs as a parent, so you are less likely to feel overwhelmed and overstimulated, and more likely to feel energized and at peace. If your child is highly sensitive, you’ll better understand how to create a life that supports your child’s unique needs, and know how to make life function better for everyone. ******* If you are ready for support with your highly sensitive or strong-willed child’s big emotions or power struggles, you don’t have to do this alone. Let’s chat, and I can share more about how I can help create harmony. Schedule a free call with me today.
By Ceara Deno, MD June 3, 2025
Many common challenges parents face with children misbehaving or being oppositional are actually signs of hidden sensory issues. This includes challenges like meltdowns, picky eating, hyperactivity, and resistance to hygiene—these can all be signs of hidden sensory issues. Discover practical ways parents can support their child’s sensory needs with empathy and simple accommodations.
By Ceara Deno, MD May 28, 2025
Discover 5 common struggles empath parents face and how to turn your deep sensitivity into your greatest parenting strength. Includes a free support call offer.
By Ceara Deno, MD May 19, 2025
These are the parenting ideas that help me to show up when life is messy. I call them my parenting mantras. How did I come up with these? They arise from my experience as a mom for 16 years; my experience helping parents create peace and connection as a parent coach for 8 years; and my experience helping parents of NICU babies handle new parenthood and a child’s health crisis as a pediatrician in the NICU for 20 years. These mantras that have helped me through my own struggles, and I think they can help you as you navigate parenting struggles, and seek to create a more peaceful, connected home as well.
More Posts