You’re Not Failing. And Your Kid Isn’t Bad.
Does your strong-willed or highly sensitive child:
- meltdown with anything unexpected
- refuse to get dressed
- lash out when you say “no”?
Despite what it seems, they’re not trying to give you a hard time.
And they’re not
a bad kid.
And you’re not
failing as a parent.
Your child is just HAVING a hard time.
It’s true.
Highly sensitive kids often struggle in ways that other kids do not.
Whether it’s loud noises, unexpected transitions, itchy clothes, or just feeling emotionally overwhelmed, highly sensitive kids often struggle in ways that look like defiance and resistance from the outside.
But inside, it’s often anxiety, fear, or sensory overload.
If your child could, they would say:
“This is really hard for me! I know it looks like I’m intentionally being difficult. But that’s not it. I want
to be easy, flexible, cooperative, and make you happy. I really do. But I can’t seem to figure out how. Inside, I’m really struggling.”
When we see that our child is the one having a hard time, it changes our outlook.
We can switch from “What is WRONG with my child?”--to, “What is HARD for my child?”
This makes all the difference.
Everything changes.
Now we can open our hearts.
We can look for solutions together.
As a team.
Because your sensitive, strong-willed child isn’t trying to be difficult.
They’re simply struggling to survive in a world that often feels like too much to them.
We can stop reacting to their behavior.
And we can start connecting and supporting, instead.
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Have you ever noticed how something as simple as leaving the playground, turning off a tablet, or getting ready for school can spark big resistance—or even a meltdown? For many children, especially those who are highly sensitive or deeply feeling, transitions are some of the hardest moments of the day. It’s not because they’re being “difficult”—it’s because their brains and nervous systems experience change differently. The good news: once you understand why transitions are so challenging, you can respond with empathy and tools that make them easier. Here are 5 common reasons transitions are tough for your child—and what you can do to help. 1. They’re Deeply Engaged in the Moment Highly sensitive kids often immerse themselves fully in what they’re doing—whether that’s reading, building, or playing. Being asked to stop feels like being pulled out of a world they love. How to help: Give gentle warnings before the change. Try: “Five more minutes of play, then it’s time for dinner.” Using a timer or visual countdown can help them prepare. 2. Their Brains Need More Time to Shift Gears Transitions require mental flexibility, which can be harder for sensitive nervous systems. Switching from one activity to another i s like changing lanes on a crowded highway—it takes time. How to help: Use consistent signals to cue transitions, such as a special song, a picture schedule, or a fun countdown routine. 3. Transitions Can Feel Like a Loss of Control Children often feel like transitions are imposed on them. That lack of control can trigger pushback or power struggles. How to help: Offer simple choices so they feel empowered. For example: “Do you want to brush teeth first or change into pajamas first?” 4. They Anticipate Stress in the Next Activity If your child expects the next step to be boring, stressful, or less enjoyable, they may resist leaving the current activity. How to help: Empathize first: “It’s hard to stop playing, I know.” Then, ease the shift with something to look forward to: “Want to bring your toy to the car so it feels easier?” 5. Their Nervous Systems Feel Every Shift More Intensely Highly sensitive kids notice and react to even small changes in environment, energy, and routine. What feels like a tiny shift to you may feel overwhelming to them. How to help: Keep routines predictable when possible. Create comforting rituals—like a goodbye hug, a special handshake, or a silly phrase—that help anchor them during transitions. The Takeaway Transitions are about more than just moving from one activity to another—they involve emotions, expectations, and a sensitive nervous system. With empathy and small adjustments, you can turn transition battles into moments of connection. 💛 Parenting a highly sensitive child isn’t easy—but it’s also filled with opportunities to build trust, closeness, and resilience. If you’d like more guidance on making daily challenges like transitions smoother, I’d love to support you. I offer one-on-one parent coaching tailored to families raising deeply feeling kids. Schedule a free call with me here.
Struggling with meltdowns and power struggles? Discover “Parenting Highly Sensitive and Spirited Kids Without Losing Your Mind," an 8-week group coaching program for parents of highly sensitive kids to build calm, confidence, and connection at home.
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