An Amazing Mom No One Listened To

Ceara Deno, MD • April 3, 2024
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An Amazing Mom No One Listened To

  • Do you feel like your kids never listen?
  • Do you feel like they don’t respect you?



That was Ashlynn’s challenge when we started working together. 

                                                           

****


Ashlynn is an amazing mom. She’s the kind of mom you aspire to be, but you often aren’t because—let’s be honest—you’re tired, and spend most of the time in survival mode.


Because Ashlynn loves swimming, she’ll bring her kids swimming—get this—in the mornings BEFORE school. She takes the kids on ice cream dates—just because it’s fun. She creates games to make housework more fun.


But the truth was, despite how amazing Ashlynn was, and how much her kids truly adored her, they didn’t listen to her.


They often listened better to her husband, Mike, who was stricter.


Ashlynn felt terrible, frustrated and hurt when the kids didn’t listen.


It was also embarassing.  Like when she took the kids swimming, but they wouldn’t get out of the pool. Or, she took them to the park, but they wouldn’t get in the car after.


Despite how much her kids adored her, they didn’t respect her.


I’ll be honest. As her coach, I might have misunderstood what Ashlynn needed, initially.


I thought maybe if she connected with her kids more, and made things more fun, maybe they would be more cooperative.


It helped some, but it wasn’t the REAL problem.


Because the truth was, Ashlynn didn’t need help connecting with her kids or making things fun.  She excelled at this already.  What she really needed was help “being in charge.”


She needed the kids to listen—even when they didn’t want to.


She needed the kids to respect her.


So we shifted gears.


I helped Ashlynn set limits more firmly.  She didn’t need the kids to love it, or even like it.  Together we worked on her becoming the boss MORE, and the fun mom a little LESS.


A couple things happened:


  1. The kids actually listened! It was awesome!!


   2.  Ashlynn started taking better care of herself!!


She did things she loved, and set aside time for herself, which helped her feel less exhausted and tired all the time.  Her mood improved. She was more optimistic and patient.


Sometimes, we need to worry a little less about our kid’s feelings, and a little more about our own.


We need to be able to set a limit confidently, regardless of what our child is feeling.  We need permission to BE THE BOSS, and take care of ourself.


It’s not always going to be fun for our kids. And that’s really OK.


Are you ready for support around BEING THE BOSS in your home, and setting limits that stick? 


Schedule a free 20 minute call, and I’ll share my recommendations to get your kids listening ASAP.


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