When my kid misbehaves, there’s a voice in my head that says:

​

“He’s choosing to be difficult. If he wanted to behave, he would.” 

​

Maybe you have a similar voice in your head?

A voice that says, “He’s being difficult on purpose to make your life painful." 

A lot of us have this voice. 

Unfortunately, there’s a couple problems with it:

​

#1.) It’s a victim voice, not an empowered voice. 

• The victim voice tells me, “You're the victim of your child’s bad mood and bad behavior." 
• The victim voice says, "Ceara, he's choosing to punish you. He's choosing to be difficult. 

​

#2. ) When I feel like a victim, I feel pretty entitled to be angry and resentful. 

• Righteous anger wells up in side me
• I feel a need to get angry and defend myself
• Hint: this is triggering something from my own childhood when I felt powerless and wanted to be heard

​

#3.) When I feel resentful and angry, it pretty hard to be the kind of parent I want to be: 

• My heart is closed
• It's very hard to show up with compassion, curiosity or openness
• I stop giving my child the benefit of the doubt, and stop assuming good intentions

​

So what helps me to be the compassionate parent I want to be? 

What helps me show up with support and warmth instead of judgment and criticism? 

What helps me remember, "My child is having a hard time, not giving me a hard time"?

For me, the more I understand my child, the more I show up with compassion.

The more I see my child’s point of view, the more I can be empathetic. 

The more the empowered part of me steps forward. 

Would you like some support around this too? 

The goal is to help you understand your child better, so you can show up with compassion and not judgment. 

The goal is to create more peace and harmony in your home, and fewer power struggles.

If your child is highly sensitive, some of the gifts of sensitivity may actually be making parenting more challenging.  These traits include:

• Sensory sensitivity 
• Strong Emotions
• Easily Overstimulated
• Taking Criticism Deeply
• Strong Empathy
• Struggle with Change/Newness
• Needing Lots of Downtime
• Noticing Details/Being Highly Perceptive
• Perfectionism
• Deep Focus that Makes Transitions Difficult

​

My goal in sharing these traits with you is to help you: 

• Better understand your child and any parenting challenges you are having
• Better support your child with challenges (like transitions, or changes in routine)
• Respond more compassionately to challenges
• Live peacefully together, with less conflict and fewer power struggles 
• Create a stronger, more peaceful connection with your child with more joy, and less daily tension

So, the next time your child is behaving poorly, when that little voice in your head says, he’s being difficult ON PURPOSE, remind yourself that your child is having a hard time, not giving you a hard time. 

This one mindset shift can create a world of difference in your home.

Schedule a free call with me if you would like more support creating this shift and achieving more peace and harmony in your home.