When your child pulls away, it doesn’t mean you’ve lost them
Ceara Deno, MD • November 10, 2025
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When your child pulls away, it doesn’t mean you’ve lost them
Sometimes you can try everything — patience, playfulness, reassurance — and your child still pulls away.
Nothing seems to land.
You reach out, and your child pulls away.
The more you try to close the gap, the more distant they seem.
For parents of deeply feeling, highly sensitive kids, this moment can feel especially painful.
You’re tuned in.
You care deeply.
You’re doing your best to stay calm and loving, but your child still feels unreachable.
It’s easy to start wondering, “What did I do wrong?”
But disconnection doesn’t mean your relationship is broken.
It’s not proof that your relationship is in trouble.
It’s simply information.
When a highly sensitive child pulls away, it usually means their nervous system is overwhelmed.
They’re not rejecting you — they’re trying to cope.
Their system is flooded, and connection, even though it’s what they need most, can feel like “too much” in that moment.
This is where our own nervous system work matters most.
Because if we can meet that distance with curiosity instead of panic, and patience instead of pressure, we create safety again.
Disconnection is a moment to pause, to breathe, and to notice what’s really happening underneath the surface.
It’s a signal to slow down, not a sign that you’ve failed.
One small step at a time, you can find your way back to connection — through regulation, empathy, and gentle leadership.
You’re not losing your child.
You’re learning how to meet them where they are. ❤️
Parents of highly sensitive kids, if you could use some help moving from disconnection to calm, confident connection, let’s chat.
Schedule a free call with me today using the scheduling link HERE.
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Have you ever noticed how something as simple as leaving the playground, turning off a tablet, or getting ready for school can spark big resistance—or even a meltdown? For many children, especially those who are highly sensitive or deeply feeling, transitions are some of the hardest moments of the day. It’s not because they’re being “difficult”—it’s because their brains and nervous systems experience change differently. The good news: once you understand why transitions are so challenging, you can respond with empathy and tools that make them easier. Here are 5 common reasons transitions are tough for your child—and what you can do to help. 1. They’re Deeply Engaged in the Moment Highly sensitive kids often immerse themselves fully in what they’re doing—whether that’s reading, building, or playing. Being asked to stop feels like being pulled out of a world they love. How to help: Give gentle warnings before the change. Try: “Five more minutes of play, then it’s time for dinner.” Using a timer or visual countdown can help them prepare. 2. Their Brains Need More Time to Shift Gears Transitions require mental flexibility, which can be harder for sensitive nervous systems. Switching from one activity to another i s like changing lanes on a crowded highway—it takes time. How to help: Use consistent signals to cue transitions, such as a special song, a picture schedule, or a fun countdown routine. 3. Transitions Can Feel Like a Loss of Control Children often feel like transitions are imposed on them. That lack of control can trigger pushback or power struggles. How to help: Offer simple choices so they feel empowered. For example: “Do you want to brush teeth first or change into pajamas first?” 4. They Anticipate Stress in the Next Activity If your child expects the next step to be boring, stressful, or less enjoyable, they may resist leaving the current activity. How to help: Empathize first: “It’s hard to stop playing, I know.” Then, ease the shift with something to look forward to: “Want to bring your toy to the car so it feels easier?” 5. Their Nervous Systems Feel Every Shift More Intensely Highly sensitive kids notice and react to even small changes in environment, energy, and routine. What feels like a tiny shift to you may feel overwhelming to them. How to help: Keep routines predictable when possible. Create comforting rituals—like a goodbye hug, a special handshake, or a silly phrase—that help anchor them during transitions. The Takeaway Transitions are about more than just moving from one activity to another—they involve emotions, expectations, and a sensitive nervous system. With empathy and small adjustments, you can turn transition battles into moments of connection. 💛 Parenting a highly sensitive child isn’t easy—but it’s also filled with opportunities to build trust, closeness, and resilience. If you’d like more guidance on making daily challenges like transitions smoother, I’d love to support you. I offer one-on-one parent coaching tailored to families raising deeply feeling kids. Schedule a free call with me here.
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