The power of presence and listening intently
Mom’s job was simply to listen. Not to fix. Not to rescue.
And let her son know he wasn’t alone with his fear.
*****
My client’s 7 year old son had a fear of needles. And doctors.
It was the day of his second Covid shot, and he was really afraid. He started to cry.
Mom had a fear of needles too.
They were running late to the appointment.
She had forgotten the vaccine record.
The nurse kept saying, “You should probably hold him down.”
Mom could feel her own anxiety rising.
Mom took a deep breath. She got down low onto her son’s level, and tuned out everything else except for him. She looked him in the eye.
She turned off the judgements in her head that said, “My son should suck it up.” She turned off the judgements in her head that said, “What are other people thinking?” She turned off the comparisons about how other kids might react, or about her own parenting.
She just listened to his fear. She reflected back what he was feeling—scared. And she was just present with him. No fixing. No rescuing. Just listening intently to understand.
And he found his own bravery, and sat there for the shot. Something that would have NEVER HAPPENED in the past.
And the whole day he was happier, cheerier, proud of himself.
All because of the power of listening intently to understand.
