Quieter, Introverted Children

Ceara Deno, MD • February 25, 2025
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Quieter, Introverted Children

Some kids (and adults) are quieter.  

These kids have less need or desire to talk, especially about their emotions.  

This type of communication style is called nonverbal processing.  

People with this style want to think things through BEFORE speaking, and may not want to talk about things at all.   

Maybe you know a person like this.  

Maybe you ARE a person like this!! (Me. I am like this!)

Maybe you have a kid like this. (Me. One of my kids is like this!)

For parents, it can be challenging to have a kid who doesn't talk or share their feelings easily.  

We wonder what’s going on, and it can be very challenging when they get upset, but won’t share easily what’s going on for them.  

Both ways of communication--verbal processors who tend to “think out loud,” as well as nonverbal processors, who want to think before speaking--are normal and healthy. 

Some kids want to share a lot, including their feelings. These kids are verbal processors, also a healthy way of communicating.  

Because these children may talk so much, as a parent, it can feel exhausting.  

On the other hand, all the sharing can be helpful, too, because you may understand a child's feelings more easily, since they share so much.  

Where on this spectrum do you see your child?  
 
Has it changed over time (hello, parents of teen boys who may share less and less!)?  

No judgment.  Both communication styles are normal and healthy.

Parents, where do you see yourself on this spectrum?  
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