My Child Is Lying. Should I Be Worried?
It can be unsettling when your child looks you straight in the eye and lies.
Maybe they say they didn’t eat the cookie—but there are crumbs on their face.
Or, they said they finished their homework so they can play video games, but it’s not true.
You might wonder: Is this normal? Should I be worried?
The truth is, lying is a very normal part of child development.
AND, how we respond to lying can make a big difference in terms of whether it becomes a pattern or not.
Why Do Kids Lie?
Lying is a normal part of childhood development, especially for highly sensitive kids who may lie to:
- avoid disappointing others
- avoid big emotions
- protect their sense of safety
The real concern isn’t that they lied—it’s understanding why they felt they needed to in the first place.
With lying, just like all a child’s behaviors, we want to look beneath the surface to understand better why it’s happening.
Here’s some suggestions for how to respond the next time your child lies:
👉 Try getting curious, instead of confrontational.
Try saying, “Hmmm. That story doesn’t sound exactly right to me. What’s going on here?” rather than, "Are you lying to me?”
👉 Make honesty safer.
Try saying, "It’s okay to make mistakes. We can talk about it and figure out how to make it right. You don’t have to be perfect—just please be honest with me.”
👉 Reinforce trust.
Try saying, “Telling the truth isn’t always easy, but it helps us trust each other. When you tell the truth, I’m so proud of you because it can be really hard to do.”
If you’re dealing with lying in your home, and your not sure how to handle it, you’re not alone.
I’d love to help! If you have a situation where your child lied, and you would like support, I’ll be happy to share suggestions. You can email me at drcearadeno@gmail.com.
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