Is my kid sensitive? Sometimes it can be hard to tell...
Ceara Deno, MD • November 30, 2022
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Sometimes it can be hard to tell what is "sensitivity" and what isn't
When I talk to parents, they are often not sure whether their child is “sensitive” or not. Is it sensitivity, or just typical kid behavior??
Sensitivity looks differently as kids grow, and children will be “sensitive” in different ways, so sometimes it can be hard to know what's sensitivity, and what's just typical kid behavior.
Some clues I have found repeated again and again in sensitive children are:
Sensitive kids may:
- appear shy in new situations/with new people
- be less flexible
- be more anxious (especially around changes)
- hate being rushed
- be perfectionists
- blame others when disappointed/embarrassed
- have extreme tantrums in response to ‘minor’ issues
- appear to be ‘in their own world’ at times
- bottle up feelings
- shut down in response to strong emotions
- be over-sensitive to perceived criticism
- have difficulty making decisions
Many of these behaviors are because sensitive kids feel emotions intensely. What looks ‘minor’ from the outside is, in fact, felt very deeply by a sensitive child.
Many of the misunderstandings sensitive kids and parents have is this mismatch where the parent sees a giant overreaction in response to a minor problem.
Helping to understand how truly MAJOR this feels for the sensitive child is the first step to greater understanding.
Your child wouldn’t make a big deal out of it if it only felt minor to them!
If you would like some help supporting your sensitive child, please message me and we will set up a time for a free phone call. Life is hard enough without feeling like your child is on the wrong path emotionally.
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Have you ever noticed how something as simple as leaving the playground, turning off a tablet, or getting ready for school can spark big resistance—or even a meltdown? For many children, especially those who are highly sensitive or deeply feeling, transitions are some of the hardest moments of the day. It’s not because they’re being “difficult”—it’s because their brains and nervous systems experience change differently. The good news: once you understand why transitions are so challenging, you can respond with empathy and tools that make them easier. Here are 5 common reasons transitions are tough for your child—and what you can do to help. 1. They’re Deeply Engaged in the Moment Highly sensitive kids often immerse themselves fully in what they’re doing—whether that’s reading, building, or playing. Being asked to stop feels like being pulled out of a world they love. How to help: Give gentle warnings before the change. Try: “Five more minutes of play, then it’s time for dinner.” Using a timer or visual countdown can help them prepare. 2. Their Brains Need More Time to Shift Gears Transitions require mental flexibility, which can be harder for sensitive nervous systems. Switching from one activity to another i s like changing lanes on a crowded highway—it takes time. How to help: Use consistent signals to cue transitions, such as a special song, a picture schedule, or a fun countdown routine. 3. Transitions Can Feel Like a Loss of Control Children often feel like transitions are imposed on them. That lack of control can trigger pushback or power struggles. How to help: Offer simple choices so they feel empowered. For example: “Do you want to brush teeth first or change into pajamas first?” 4. They Anticipate Stress in the Next Activity If your child expects the next step to be boring, stressful, or less enjoyable, they may resist leaving the current activity. How to help: Empathize first: “It’s hard to stop playing, I know.” Then, ease the shift with something to look forward to: “Want to bring your toy to the car so it feels easier?” 5. Their Nervous Systems Feel Every Shift More Intensely Highly sensitive kids notice and react to even small changes in environment, energy, and routine. What feels like a tiny shift to you may feel overwhelming to them. How to help: Keep routines predictable when possible. Create comforting rituals—like a goodbye hug, a special handshake, or a silly phrase—that help anchor them during transitions. The Takeaway Transitions are about more than just moving from one activity to another—they involve emotions, expectations, and a sensitive nervous system. With empathy and small adjustments, you can turn transition battles into moments of connection. 💛 Parenting a highly sensitive child isn’t easy—but it’s also filled with opportunities to build trust, closeness, and resilience. If you’d like more guidance on making daily challenges like transitions smoother, I’d love to support you. I offer one-on-one parent coaching tailored to families raising deeply feeling kids. Schedule a free call with me here.
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