I used to take away screen time to make my kids listen
I used to take away screen time to get my kids to listen.
My kids loved screen time so much, I could pretty much force them to listen with the threat of losing it.
Other times, when I was so furious at their behavior, I simply took it away for revenge, so they would suffer.
I don't do that anymore.
Punishments were a poison to our relationship. They made my children fear me, resent me, and not trust me. Punishments made them angry, and less likely to want to listen to me.
So I stopped.
And now we talk instead. That's right. We talk.
We got rid of punishments, and instead, now my kids actually WANT to listen to me.
It's true. By giving up punishments, now my kids actually WANT to listen to me. They want to listen because we have a relationship built on trusting, respect and love. Not a relationship built on fear and control.
I didn't realize there was another way before. I thought I had to control my kids to make them listen.
Thank goodness I found this other way. The peace and cooperation and love we have now is so priceless, I can't imagine going back. I can't imagine what our relationship would be like if I had continued my old way.
People often worry that if kids aren't punished, they will become willful and untrustworthy. It turns out it's the opposite. Kids who are treated with trust and respect give it back to the adults in their lives. They listen because they want those adults to be proud of them.
Conscious parenting is how I made this change. You can do this too. Getting rid of punishments is part of it. A parent coach can help.
