Negative Judgments About Sensitive Kids (and Their Parents)

As a parent of a highly sensitive kid, it’s likely you have been on the receiving end of some unhelpful judgements and advice.

This is often from well-meaning people, who believe they are being helpful.

They judge your child’s sensitivity as a personality defect or a flaw.

They judge your parenting as inadequate.

They try to tell you that your child’s sensitivity is a problem, and that you caused it with your parenting style.

These are often well-intentioned people, who may even love you and your child--people like grandparents, friends, therapists, teachers, doctors, or other professionals.

It doesn’t change the fact that judgments are untrue, harmful, and not helpful. 

Parents might hear judgments of their parenting like:

"You're too soft on him."

"You coddle her too much."

"You need to discipline him more."

"You let her run the show."

"You're too overprotective."

"You're spoiling her by catering to her needs."

"If you parented like I did, he wouldn't act like that."

You may even start to doubt yourself and your parenting.  You may even start to wonder if your child’s sensitivity IS your fault. 

Equally painful can be hearing judgements and criticisms about your child that imply their sensitivity is a flaw. 

“She's so dramatic."

"Why does he cry over everything?"

“He just needs to toughen up.

"Why does she take everything so personally?"

“He's spoiled- he always gets his way.”

“She'll never succeed if she can't handle life's challenges better."

It’s so painful to hear your child be criticized and misunderstood like this. 

Sensitivity is a gift.  It is not a flaw, and it’s not something parents cause with their parenting.

Sensitive temperaments are due to biology, not parenting.  We don’t need to change your child’s sensitivity.  We need to support, honor and cherish it.   

If you or your child have been on the receiving end of hurtful judgements, I want you to know that you are NOT ALONE.

This is actually a very common experience for parents of sensitive kids, and if it has caused you to start to doubt yourself, you’re not alone with that either.

Has this happened to you?  Have you heard judgments of your child or your parenting?  Did you start to doubt yourself? 

You are not alone, and you didn’t deserve this.  Your child’s sensitivity is a gift, and you are exactly the parent your child needs to thrive.