Apologizing. Are you doing it? Are you doing it correctly?
Kids learn to apologize by our modeling it
How will kids learn to apologize if adults don’t model it?
Apologizing is SO important!
It shows:
--powerful people take responsibility for our mistakes
--respect for the other person
--accountability for my behavior
--empathy for your feelings
Here are 2 important thoughts about apologizing to our kids.
First, a true apology means taking actual responsibility. When I say, ”Sorry I yelled at you, but you were rude,” I am actually blaming you for my poor behavior. That’s the OPPOSITE of taking responsibility. Taking responsibility is “I’m sorry I yelled. You don’t deserve to be yelled at.”
Second, a true apology does NOT involve shaming ourselves. I don’t say, “I’m a terrible person for yelling at you, you deserve a better mother.” This communicates that mistakes are not OK, when in fact, mistakes are NORMAL. Mistakes don’t make us a bad person, they make us human.
Want to learn more about apology and other tools to connect and repair with your child?
Contact me. I help parents create a deeper connection by using peaceful communication tools.
